CCBR Business Review

22 A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch. “Sir, I couldn’t help but notice how happy you look this morning,” she said. “Tell me, what’s your secret for a long, happy life?” “I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day,” he replied. “I also drink a case of whiskey every week, eat fatty foods, and never exer- cise.” “That’s amazing!” she exclaimed. “How old are you?” “Twenty-six.” An accountant dies and goes to Heaven. He reaches the pearly gates and is amazed to see a happy crowd all waving banners and chanting his name. After a few minutes St. Peter comes run- ning across and says, “I’m sorry I wasn’t here to greet you personally. God is looking forward to meeting such a remarkable man as yourself.” The accountant is perplexed. “I’ve tried to lead a good life, but I am overwhelmed by your welcome,” he tells St. Peter. “It’s the least we can do for someone as special as you are. Imagine, living to the age of 123 and still looking so young,” says St. Peter. The man looks even more dumbfounded and replies, “123 years old? I don’t know what you mean. I’m only 40.” St. Peter replies, “But that can’t be right - we’ve seen your time sheets!” Two neighbours were talking about work, when one said, “Say, why did the foreman fire you?” The other neighbour replied, “Well, you know how a foreman is always standing around and watching others do the work. My foreman got jealous. People started thinking I was the foreman.” Roy was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family busi- ness. When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a wife with which to share is fortune. One evening at an investment meeting he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away. “I may look like just an ordinary man,” he said to her, “but in just a few years my father will die and I will inherit $200 million.” Impressed, the woman obtained his business card and three weeks later she became his stepmother. Jim had an awful day fishing on the lake, sitting in the blazing sun all day without catching a single fish. On his way home, he stopped at the fish shop and ordered four flathead. He said to the fishmonger, “Pick four large ones out and throw them at me, will you?” “Why do you want me to throw them at you,” said the fishmonger “Because I want to tell my wife that I caught them,” said Jim. “Okay, but I suggest that you take the orange roughy.” “But why?” “Because your wife came in earlier today and said that if you came by, I should tell Quote of the month “Believe and act as if it were impossible to fail.” Charles F. Kettering you to take orange roughy. She prefers that for supper tonight.” The teacher asked little Johnny if he knows his numbers. “Yes,” he said. “I do. My father taught me.” “Good. What comes after three.”“Four,” answers the boy. “What comes after six?” “Seven.” “Very good,” says the teacher. “Your dad did a good job. What comes after ten?” “A Jack.” The attorney tells the accused, “I have some good news and some bad news.” “What’s the bad news?” asks the accused. “The bad news is, your blood is all over the crime scene, and the DNA tests prove you did it.” “What’s the good news?” “Your cholesterol is only 130.” A man has been found guilty for overus- ing commas. The judge warned him to expect a long sentence. F U N N Y B U S I N E S S 02 4365 6777 graphicbydesign.com.au MARKETING / BRAND / PRINT / DIGITAL + WEB / MOTION GRAPHICS To help you build a better business future, talk to us. Does good design start with a sketch? Not really... Good design starts with strategy that inspires a concept and moves an audience to connect with a brand. CENTRAL COAST BUSINESS REVIEW OCTOBER 2021