The Little Blue Book

Being alert to the signs How do we know when a friend, a colleague or a loved one might be planning to take their own lives? And, what is the best way to help? Suicide is a final act in a progressive set of changes that occur in a person who has decided to ‘end it all’. That decision, to their troubled thinking, is the best solution to the private pain and deep negative feelings that blanket their lives. If we’re alert, however, we will recognise these changes. The clues, should they be carrying these thoughts, are in subtle shifts in their demeanour, in their behaviours, moods and even in their appearance. The clues may be in what they say – “you’ll be better off without me”, or “I have to put an end to all this”, or “there’s no way out” or in similar negative talk expressing a finality. There might also be clues in their outward manner; in changes of behaviour like long periods of silence (that are out of character), like joylessness – seemingly unable to enjoy anything – like isolation, like WHY IT’S BEST TO ASK: “ARE YOU THINKING OF SUICIDE?” You may be reluctant to ask the question, but, putting it out there and encouraging someone to talk about suicidal thoughts and feelings they may be carrying, can be life-saving. And just as you wouldn’t hesitate to throw a lifeline to a person struggling in deep water, don’t hesitate to throw the lifeline of a ready ear, and some well-chosen caring words, to someone who you think may be struggling inside with thoughts of self-harm. Starting that conversation is not something that will come easily. But we know now that being upfront and addressing suicide directly with someone we’re worried about, is the best way of helping them. APPROACHING SOMEONEWHOMAY BE THINKING OF SUICIDE an inability to concentrate on work, and like changes in appearance (becoming dishevelled or disinterested in dress and grooming), and like drinking heavily or misusing drugs. These outward signs may be clues to what’s going on inside, to what they’re thinking. And, if we’re alert, we can recognise the signs, and help. RECOGNISING DEPRESSION, ANXIETY, AND OTHER DISORDERS 106