The Little Blue Book

9. CHANGE YOUR FUTURE, STOP HISTORY REPEATING Thanks to having an imagination, we can imagine alternative futures – for ourselves, our loved ones and our children – and make choices to achieve them. And, if things in our lives have not been tracking as we’d like, if we’re feeling unhappy or unfulfilled, we can change that. So, choose the path, set goals and take deliberate steps to achieve your best future. Find a few moments by yourself, write down your goals and sketch out a loose plan to get you started on the road to achieving them. Developing ‘life goals’ and finding the discipline to work towards them is great for our mental health and wellbeing. But if things are off-track, don’t expect to be able tomake an immediate right-hand-turn. Better to aim to turn by degrees, small shifts, making small changes – one less smoke today, five extra minutes listening to ‘the after-school stories’, a day without getting angry, a meal without sugar drinks, an alcohol-free day – and build block-by-block on those little disciplines to become the person you want to be. With imagination and a commitment to a better life, we can find good health and contentment and gift the same to our children. “Many alcohol-dependent men and women have grown up in homes that lack a stable environment, often reflecting the impairments that come with alcohol-use disorders, drug- use disorders and anti-social personality disorder, which are frequently seen in the parents of alcohol dependent individuals.” 1 (1) SCHUCKIT, M.A., HESSELBROCK, V. Alcohol Dependence and Anxiety Disorders: What Is the Relationship? The American Journal of Psychiatry; Dec 1994.) We don’t have to stay victims locked into our personal history. While we can’t do much about our genetic vulnerabilities, nor the way our parents ‘parented’ (if our upbringing was disordered or dysfunctional), we can break the chains to the past. But most importantly, we can also stop history repeating with our own family. Be the best person you can be, and the best parent you can be, and you can strengthen and protect the mental health and resilience of your children and help them achieve fulfilled and happy lives. RECOGNISING DEPRESSION, ANXIETY, AND OTHER DISORDERS 122