The Little Blue Book

1. Focus on ‘the little joys’ Positive thinking starts with focusing on little positives and triggering the voice in our head to notice them. Say them, verbalise the thought to yourself, each time you notice – “hey, what a beautiful morning”, “great cup of coffee”, “I love seeing the kids at breakfast”, “I love it that they need me” – and keep noticing these little things throughout the day, no matter how small, that bring light into your life. You will have worries, we all do, but counter them with reminders of those little positives. And if things are tough, find a positive spin to the event or the circumstances challenging you (“it brought the family together”, “we’ve got more time with each other”, “we’re poorer, but money isn’t everything”, “we’ve got each other for strength, and that makes me very happy”). It is positive emotions, in looking for and finding positives, that put a protective armour around our mental health, that strengthen our resilience under pressure and that help us to more quickly bounce back. 2 2. Get your ‘self-talk’ right This is about turning around negative self-talk. When learning to drive, you may remember your instructor telling you to focus on ‘the gap’ if driving through a narrow gate: “keep your focus on the opening, and you’ll glide right through”. But how often do we find ourselves, in our lives, looking at the posts – worrying about all the things that can go wrong, rather than the things that can go right? That’s why sports coaches work so hard on self-belief and the messages we give ourselves: you can do this, this is yours, you are ready! Every hour, we have countless unspoken thoughts running through our heads. Are your thoughts mostly positive or mostly negative? If they’re negative, don’t let them pass unchallenged – turn them around. Use your focus on ‘the little joys’ to counter them; for every negative thought, counter it with a positive one. And if things are hard right now, be compassionate with yourself (and seek out the support services and advice that is available). Afterall, the coronavirus pandemic is not your doing, and there will always be things outside of your control. Remind yourself – tell yourself – of the strength you get from your family, of being looked to for support, and of your love, care and emotional strength being needed. When you change your self-talk, you will also be changing your emotional responses. Just do what you can, keep striving, and focus on the positives. FOUR GREAT TIPS FOR POSITIVE THINKING (1) A relationship between weak attentional control and cognitive distortions, explained by negative affect; Booth R.W. (2019) www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov (2) Psychological Resilience and Positive Emotional Granularity: Examining the Benefits of Positive Emotions on Coping and Health; Tugade M.M., Fredrickson B.L., Barrett L.F. www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov (3) Counting blessings versus burdens: An experimental investigation of gratitude and subjective well-being in daily life. Emmons RA, McCullough ME. Journal of Personality & Social Psychology. www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov (4) Neural Substrates of Human Facial Expression of Pleasant Emotion Iwase M., Ouchi Y., et al, (2002). Department of Clinical Neuroscience. Osaka University. www.pdfs.semanticscholar.org (5) Psychology Today: Addicted to Smiling. Wenk G.L. Ph.D. www.psychologytoday.com 24 Towards Resilience - The Power of Positivity