The Little Blue Book

SOCIAL ISOLATION AND LONELINESS RECOGNISING LONELINESS Loneliness should be easily recognised. We are, after all, social animals. But, despite its widespread incidence – it touches so many of us – the behaviours around it can be easily and casually misinterpreted. Lonely people can seem aloof, unwilling to join in (“not a team player”), painfully shy or easily flustered and embarrassed around people. These behaviours – and the conclusions we may make around them – can stem from withdrawal and reluctance to make social connection that comes with loss of confidence, low self-esteem and feelings of anxiety and insecurity that many lonely people carry. Loneliness, however, if it becomes chronic, feeds mental illness and emotional disorder and can quickly progress into a tightening spiral of negative thoughts and emotions. With that tightening comes an increased risk of depressive disorders and a range of negative behaviours. For the person suffering chronic loneliness, these behaviours can add to feelings of anxiety and strengthen the ‘invisible barrier’ that prevents them from making connection. There are obvious signs like social withdrawal, a reluctance to join in and awkwardness – embarrassment and insecurity – when in group gatherings. Lonely people may also fail to attend things where they were expected, or regularly decline. There may also be clues in their conversation. When talking about the weekend, there will be a common thread of being alone, of solo activities like gaming and binge-watching movies or TV. We expect these signs because people who are lonely commonly have difficulties with connection. But there are other less-obvious indicators. Being always tired can also be a sign of loneliness. People who are lonely commonly have poorly defined routines around sleep, and struggle with insomnia and disturbed sleep. Over time, loneliness can weaken willpower, control and perseverance. Lonely people can find it harder to regulate and control habits and behaviours. Their feelings of low self-esteem and worthlessness can drive compulsive behaviours and a wish for self-gratification around food, alcohol or drugs. 1 Some Signs and symptoms of chronic loneliness COVID-19: The Challenge 36