The Little Blue Book

ACCEPTANCE 2 ‘Own’ your anger (after all, it’s yours) It can take courage to step back, to admit we’re wrong and to acknowledge our failings. But you can do it. If your anger is out of control, you will know. Its scarring runs deep. You will carry it in feelings of shame and of failure. You will see it in the fear, disappointment and confusion that follows your outbursts. And disappointingly, because they expect so much better of you, you will see it in your children’s eyes. So, ‘own it’. Own the chaos, own the fear, own the damage you are doing to your relationships. It’s yours – and your admission: “this comes from me” – tells you where you need to start if you are going to take control of your anger, and control of your emotions. You need to start with yourself. For that you will need both humility and courage and a genuine wish to make some changes in ‘you’. So, start now, begin by acknowledging the source of your anger, and by practicing patience and compassion. Only you can decide the person that you want to be. ACCEPTANCE 3 Find ‘the better self’ within We are not captive of our past. It’s there, always part of us, but behind us. And while we may not be able to change our upbringing nor our genetic vulnerabilities, we can change the way these influences impact on our behaviours and on our lives. In imagining a better self, free of anger and of other negative behaviours and destructive thinking, it’s imagining the person you want to be that matters: the better version of you, the person deserving of your love and respect. That person is there, so find that person. Make a list – you can keep it to yourself – of all of the positives in your life you want to protect. Your better self and your best future is there, among those positives. Think about them, hold them, nourish those positive thoughts, be inspired by them and get to work. There is no room ‘in the better self’ for mismanaged anger. But help is available; get some counselling to get you on the path (again, your GP can help). 55 ADA Australia PostScript Section 1 Section 3 Section 2