19 A PERFECT SUMMER day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing and the lawn mower is broken. A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor’s office. “Is it true,” she wanted to know, “that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?” “Yes, I’m afraid so,” the doctor told her. There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, “I’m wondering, then, just how serious is my condition because this prescription is marked ‘NO REPEATS’.” A woman goes to the local psychic in the hope of contacting her dearly departed grandmother. The psychic’s eyelids begin fluttering, her voice begins warbling, her hands float up above the table, and she begins moaning. Eventually, a coherent voice emanates, saying, “Granddaughter? Are you there?”The customer, wide-eyed and on the edge of her seat, responds, “Grandmother? Is that you?”“Yes granddaughter, it’s me.” “It’s really, really you, grandmother?”, the woman repeats. “Yes, it’s really me, granddaughter.”The woman looks puzzled, “You’re sure it’s you, grandmother?” “Yes, granddaughter, I’m sure it’s me.” The woman pauses a moment, Grandmother, I have just one question for you.”“Anything, my child.” “Grandmother, when did you learn to speak English?” A woman walked up to an elderly looking man rocking in a chair on his porch. “I couldn’t help noticing how happy you look,” she said. “What’s your secret for a long, happy life?” “I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day,” he said. “I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods and never exercise.” “That’s amazing,” the woman said. “How old are you?”“Thirty-six. Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a young apprentice were out checking meters in a suburban neighbourhood. They parked their truck at the end of the street and worked their way to the other end. Quote of the month “Learning is not compulsory – neither is survival” W Edwards Deming At the last house, a woman looking out her kitchen window watched the two men as they checked her gas meter. Finishing the meter check, the senior supervisor challenged his assistant to a race down the street and back to the truck to prove that an older guy could outrun a younger one. As they came running up to the truck, they realized the lady from that last house was huffing and puffing right behind them. They stopped and asked her what was wrong. Gasping for breath, she replied, “When I see two gas men running as hard as you two were, I figured I’d better run too!” CALL JASON ON 02 4324 5577 | A 334 Mann St, Gosford NSW 2250 | E gosford@roadsmartfleet.com.au Unlock peak fleet performance WITH ROADSMART FLEET–GOSFORD Expert passenger fleet services • Tailored vehicle servicing packages. • Proactive maintenance schedules. • Minimise downturn, maximise productivity. Truck tyre fleet maintenance • Specialised commercial Tyre maintenance. • 24/7 emergency breakdown support. • Product optimisation tailored to your needs. At Roadsmart Fleet - Gosford, we partner with you to give a unique customer experience on a Fleet Management level. We are experts in our field and are trusted by local and nationally recognised brands. FUNNY BUSINESS CENTRAL COAST BUSINESS REVIEW DECEMBER 2024
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