23 I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, ‘’Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge? To which I replied, ‘If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?’ He smiled knowingly and nodded, ‘That’s why we ask..’ Contributed by John Ralph A defendant in a lawsuit involving large sums of money was talking to his lawyer. “If I lose this case, I’ll be ruined!” “It’s in the judge’s hands now,” said the lawyer. “Would it help if I sent the judge a box of cigars?” “No! The judge is a stickler on ethical behavior. A stunt like that would prejudice him against you. He might even hold you in contempt of court.” Within the course of time, the judge rendered a decision in favour of the defendant. As the defendant left the courthouse, he said to his lawyer, “Thanks for the tip about the cigars. It really worked!” Confidently the lawyer responded, “I’m sure we would have lost the case if you’d sent them.” “But I did send them,” replied the man. “What?” shouted the lawyer. “I sure did ... good thing I remembered to enclose the plaintiff’s business card.” A friend of mine was a frequent user of a local pay telephone and was greatly inconvenienced when the phone went out of commission. Repeated requests for repair brought only promises. After several days, the phone company was again contacted and told that there was no longer a rush. The phone was now working fine- -except that all money was being returned upon completion of each call. A repairman arrived within the hour! A company feeling it was time for a shakeup, hires a new CEO. Determined to rid the company of all the slackers and make an impression the new boss sets out on a tour of the factory. He notices a guy leaning on a wall. The room is full of workers and he wants to let them know he means business! He walks up to the young fellow and asks, “And how much money do you make a week?” Undaunted, the young fellow looks at him and replies, “I make $300.00 a week. Why?” The CEO then hands the guy $300 in cash and screams, “Here’s a week’s pay, now Quote of the month The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing Walt Disney GET OUT and don’t come back!” Feeling pretty good about his first firing, the CEO looks around the room and asks “Does anyone want to tell me what that idiot did here?” With a sheepish grin, one of the other workers mutters, “he was the pizza delivery guy form Domino’s.” They say that Christopher Columbus was the first economist. When he left to discover America, he didn’t know where he was going; when he got there he didn’t know where he was, and it was all done on a government grant The policeman got out of his car to speak to the kid he stopped for speeding, who rolled down his window. “I’ve been waiting all day for you,” said the policeman. The kid replied, “Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.” FUNNY BUSINESS CALL JASON ON 02 4324 5577 | A 334 Mann St, Gosford NSW 2250 | E gosford@roadsmartfleet.com.au Unlock peak fleet performance WITH ROADSMART FLEET–GOSFORD Expert passenger fleet services • Tailored vehicle servicing packages. • Proactive maintenance schedules. • Minimise downturn, maximise productivity. Truck tyre fleet maintenance • Specialised commercial Tyre maintenance. • 24/7 emergency breakdown support. • Product optimisation tailored to your needs. At Roadsmart Fleet - Gosford, we partner with you to give a unique customer experience on a Fleet Management level. We are experts in our field and are trusted by local and nationally recognised brands. CENTRAL COAST BUSINESS REVIEW JULY 2024
RkJQdWJsaXNoZXIy MTI3ODI1