19 CALL JASON ON 0411 787 738 | A 334 Mann St, Gosford NSW 2250 | E gosford@roadsmartfleet.com.au Unlock peak fleet performance WITH ROADSMART FLEET–GOSFORD Expert passenger fleet services • Tailored vehicle servicing packages. • Proactive maintenance schedules. • Minimise downturn, maximise productivity. Truck tyre fleet maintenance • Specialised commercial Tyre maintenance. • 24/7 emergency breakdown support. • Product optimisation tailored to your needs. A CUSTOMER SENT an order to a distributor for a large amount of goods totaling a great deal of money. The manager of the firm saw that the previous bill hadn’t been paid so he left a voice-mail for them saying, “We can’t ship your new order until you pay for the last one.” The next day he received a collect phone call, “Please cancel the order. We can’t wait that long.” A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter. “What are you doing?” She asked. “Hunting Flies” He responded. “Oh. Killing any?” She asked. “Yep, 3 males, 2 Females,” he replied. Intrigued, she asked. “How can you tell?” He responded, “3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone.” All of these pilot and aviation jokes get me to thinking about my first skydiving instructor. During class he would always take the time to answer any of our stupid first-timer questions. One guy asked, “If our chute doesn’t open, and the reserve doesn’t open, how long do we have until we hit the ground?” Our jump master looked at him and in perfect deadpan and answered, “The rest of your life.” Three Englishmen were in a bar and spotted an Irishman and decided they would try and wind him up. So, one of the Englishmen walked over to the Irishman, tapped him on the shoulder, and said, “Hey, I hear your St. Patrick was a drunken loser.” “Oh really, hmm, I didn’t know that,” replied the Irishman. Puzzled, the Englishman walked back to his friends. “I told him St. Patrick was a loser, and he didn’t care.” The second Englishman remarked, “You just don’t know how to set him off. Watch and learn.” So, he walked over to the Irishman, tapped him on the shoulder and said, “Hey, I hear your St. Patrick was lying, cheating, idiotic, low-life scum!” Unperturbed the Irishman replied, “Oh really, hmm, I didn’t know that.” Shocked beyond belief, the Englishman went back to his friends. “You’re right. He’s unshakable!” The third Englishman remarked, “Boys, I’ll really tick him off... just watch.” So he walked over to the Irishman, tapped him on the shoulder and said, “I hear St. Patrick was an Englishman!” The Irishman looked at him with a bleary eye and replied, “Yeah, that’s what your mates were trying to tell me.” “Cash, cheque or charge?” I asked after folding the items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. Quote of the month “The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing.” Walt Disney “Do you always carry your TV remote?” I asked. “No,” she replied. “But my husband refused to come shopping with me, so I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him.” As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife’s voice urgently warning him, “Harry, I just heard on the news that there’s a car going the wrong way on the F3. Please be careful!” “That’s strange” said Harry, “It’s not just one car. It’s hundreds of them!” A bus load of politicians were driving down a country road one afternoon, when all of a sudden, the bus ran off the road and crashed into a tree in an old farmer’s field. Seeing what happened, the old farmer went over to investigate. He then proceeded to dig a hole and bury the politicians. A few days later, the local police sergeant came out, saw the crashed bus, and asked the old farmer, “Were they all dead?” The old farmer replied, “Well, some of them said they weren’t, but you know how them politicians lie.” FUNNY BUSINESS CENTRAL COAST BUSINESS REVIEW JUNE 2025
RkJQdWJsaXNoZXIy MTI3ODI1