Then he turned his face towards J, and I could see D was only just hanging in. Maybe they hadn’t done such a good job in the military hospital, hadn’t really fixed him, because he was looking grey. “J,” he said. “Remember me, when you’re king.” I yelled, “King! How’s he going to be a king?!” But J turned to him and whispered, loud enough for me to hear, “Today you will be with me in paradise.” And D just looked into his eyes and smiled, like he totally believed it. Like the nails were already gone. D’s eyes turned to me, and he said, “Mate, we’ve done everything together. Let’s not stop now. I’ll be looking for you.” His head dropped. He was tapping out. I could just see him breathing still, but he was gone. My best friend. All down to me. I’ve never felt that hollow inside. I was weeping, and it wasn’t the pain of the nails. My gutless pride had killed him. I looked at J. He lifted his head again, turned to me, and I looked into his eyes. Seriously, I don’t know if this is just a thing when you’re dying, but I felt like I was looking into the night sky. His eyes were whirling with stars and lights and flashes of colour, and I just seemed to fall in. I wanted to say, “Can I go too, to where D’s going?” but I couldn’t speak. I didn’t need to. I knew the answer. J was looking at me as if he’d always known. And in amongst the worlds opening in his eyes I swear I could also see D’s eyes looking at me. His eyes in J’s eyes. Like they were already somewhere else at the same time as hanging there with me, dying, on gum trees, over my hometown. Then the strangest thing – the sky went dark, like a storm had swept in from nowhere and the sun had gone on smoko. Dark like night. Guards were flicking torches on, but they all failed after a second or so. Dark. Dark and quiet. Like the grave. And J calls out, “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit,” He looks at me one last time, with this strange mix of grimace and grin on his face. And the fireworks went off in his eyes and I saw something I’ll never forget. I saw welcome. I saw home. I saw paradise. 107
RkJQdWJsaXNoZXIy MTI3ODI1