South Eastern Sydney Local Health District Bereavement Information 8 The Dying Process If we are experiencing the death of a relative or friend for the first time, it is understandable that we may have questions about what this process will look and feel like. In some cases, the dying person might have expressed specific wishes about what they would like at the end of life; these can be shared with the treating team, and where able, we will ensure that these wishes are carried out, including ensuring that your loved one is cared for and is as comfortable as possible. The following information may help you understand, anticipate and respond to some of the signs you might notice before, during, and after death. If you have any questions or specific concerns, please always ask your nurse. We may not have been present when someone has died before; it may be useful to know that the moment of death is often peaceful. You can bring enormous benefit to the person you are caring for simply by sitting with them, holding their hand and speaking in a calm and reassuring manner. Even if the person does not respond, they may still be able to hear you. ‘Being with’ can be more important than ‘doing for’. The Dying Process Appetite and Thirst The person’s appetite and thirst may decrease. This concerns many carers, but this is a natural process, and it is not painful. Small sips of water or a moist mouth swab will help to provide comfort. You can ask the nurses to show you how to help with mouth care. Attempting to feed someone who is unable to swallow may make them distressed and may cause harm. Sleep and alertness Changes in the person’s body mean that they may spend a lot of time sleeping; they may become increasingly drowsy or find it difficult to wake. It is best to talk to the person when they seem most alert and allow them to sleep when they need to. It is best to speak softly and naturally.
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