CCBR Business Review

22 A BLIND MAN and his seeing eye dog walked into a store. When he got in, he starts swinging his dog around. Upset by this, the manager of the store demanded to know what he was doing. The blind man calmly replied, “I’m just lookin’ around.” A policeman stops a lady and asks for her license. He says “Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses.” The woman answered“Well, I have contacts.” The policeman replied “I don’t care who you know! You’re getting a ticket!” This is the story of four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was asked to do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that, because it was Everybody’s job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but Nobody realised that Everybody wouldn’t do it. Consequently, it wound up that Nobody told Anybody, so Everybody blamed Somebody. Two women were comparing notes on the difficulties of running a small business. “I started a new practice last year,” the first one said. “I insist that each of my employees take at least a week off every three months.” “Why in the world would you do that?”the other asked. She responded, “It’s the best way I know of to learn which ones I can do without.” An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman were without tickets for the open- ing ceremonies of the summer Olympics but hoped to be able to talk their way in at the gate. Security was very tight, however, and each of their attempts was met with a stern refusal. While wandering around outside the stadium, the Englishman came upon construction site, which gave him an idea. Grabbing a length of scaffolding, he presented himself at the gate and said, “Johnson, the pole vault,” and was admit- ted. The Scotsman, overhearing this, went at once to search the site. When he came up with a sledge hammer, he presented himself at the gate and said, “McTavish, the hammer.” He was also admitted. The Irishman combed the site for an hour and was nearly ready to give up when he spotted his ticket in. Seizing a roll of barbed wire, he presented himself at the gate and announced, “O’Sullivan, fencing.” Two accountants are in a bank when armed robbers burst in. While several of the robbers take the money from the tell- ers, others line the customers up against a wall and proceed to take their wallets, watches, and other valuables. In the midst of the chaos, accountant No. 1 jams some- thing in accountant No. 2’s hand. Without looking down, accountant No. 2 whispers, “What is this?” to which accountant num- ber one replies, “It’s that $50 I owe you.” Quote of the month “To succeed you have to believe in something with such a passion that it becomes a reality.” Anita Roddick F U N N Y B U S I N E S S Are you here? We know the way through the maze GRAPHIC DESIGN LOGOS & BRANDING WEB DEVELOPMENT ADVERTISING PHOTO/VIDEOGRAPHY MARKETING & PR 02 4365 6777 graphicbydesign.com.au An old man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the movie theatre. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the old man, “Sorry sir, but you’re only allowed one seat.” The old man didn’t budge. The usher became more impatient. “Sir, if you don’t get up from there I’m going to have to call the manager.” Once again, the old man just muttered and did nothing. The usher marched briskly back up the aisle, and in a moment he returned with the manager. Together the two of them tried repeat- edly to move the old disheveled man, but with no success. Finally they summoned the police. The officer surveyed the situation briefly then asked, “All right buddy what’s your name?” “Fred,” the old man moaned. “Where ya from, Fred?” asked the police officer. With a terrible grunt in his voice, and without moving, Fred replied... ... “The balcony.” CENTRAL COAST BUSINESS REVIEW AUGUST 2021