CCBR Business Review

19 F U N N Y B U S I N E S S TWO GUYS, ONE old, one young, are pushing their carts around Woolworths when they collide. The old guy says to the young guy, “Sorry about that. I’m looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going.” The young guy says, “That’s OK, it’s a coincidence. I’m looking for my wife, too... I can’t find her and I’m getting a little desperate.” The old guy says, “Well, maybe I can help you find her... what does she look like?” The young guy says, “Well, she is 27 yrs. old, tall, with red hair, blue eyes, is buxom ...wearing no bra, long legs, and is wearing short shorts. What does your wife look like?’ To which the old guy says, “Doesn’t mat- ter, --- let’s look for yours.” Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, “Why is the bride dressed in white?’’ The mother replied, “Because white is the colour of happiness, and today is the happi- est day of her life.” The child thought about this for a moment then said, “So why is the groom wearing black?” A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor. “Is it true,” she wanted to know, “that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?” “’Yes, I’m afraid so,”’ the doctor told her. There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, “I’m wondering, then, just how serious is my condition because this prescription is marked ‘NO REPEATS’. Two small boys, not yet old enough to be in school, were overheard talking at the zoo one day. “My name is Billy. What’s yours?” asked the first boy. “Tommy,” replied the second. “My Daddy’s an accountant. What does your Daddy do for a living?” asked Billy. Tommy replied, “My Daddy’s a lawyer.” “Honest?” asked Billy. “No, just the regular kind”, replied Tommy. A young accountant, straight out of uni, applies for a job advertised in the Sydney Morning Herald. He is interviewed by the owner of a small business who has built it up from scratch. “I need someone with an accounting degree,” says the man, “but mainly I’m looking for someone to do my worrying for me.” “How do you mean?” says the account- ant. “I have lots of things to worry about, but I want someone else to worry about money matters.” “OK,” says the accountant. “How much are you offering?” “You can start on seventy-five thousand,” says the owner. “Seventy-five thousand dollars. How can a business like this afford to pay so much?” “That,” says the man, “is your first worry.” A woman’s husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, Quote of the month “If your business requires your presence you don’t have a business you have a job.” Benjamin Franklin yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he said, “You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side… You know what?”“What dear?” She asked gently. “I think you bring me bad luck.” A businessman who needed millions of dollars to clinch an important deal went to church to pray for the money. By chance he knelt next to a man who was praying for $100 to pay an urgent debt. The businessman took out his wallet and pressed $100 into the other man’s hand. Overjoyed, the man got up and left the church. The businessman then closed his eyes and prayed, “And now, Lord, that I have your undivided attention….” $ 3000 * COVID-19Marketing Grant thanks to Gladys Did you hear that the NSW Government is offering a grant of up to $3000 to go towards marketing and advertising for certain businesses and not-for-profits? It’s a relief measure aimed to help businesses to combat the Covid-19 downturn. At GBD Advertising we have been helping to build brands since 1989. We can help you boost your brand with a range of marketing and advertising services. We are offering specific packages to assist local businesses to take advantage of this grant. Talk to us today about how we can help you: phone 4365 6777 suite 3.11 platinumbuilding 4 ilya ave, erina nsw 2260 See the Service NSW website for more details to find out if you’re eligible. *Conditions apply Act now – this offer expires on August 16th. Call us today on 4365 6777 to discuss building your brand. • Optimise your website with new content, SEO and design • Produce advertising or print materials • Get your social media content buzzing • Construct an e-commerce platform • Write impactful customer communications • Write an ad campaign CENTRAL COAST BUSINESS REVIEW AUGUST 2020