CCBR Business Review

22 TAXIING DOWN THE tarmac, the jetliner abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate. After an hour-long wait, it finally took off. A concerned passen- ger asked the flight attendant, “What was the problem?” “The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine,” explained the Flight Attendant, “and it took us a while to find a new pilot.” “Cash, cheque or charge?” asked shop assistant after wrapping all the items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet he noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. “Do you always carry your TV remote?” he asked. “No,” she replied. “But my husband refused to come shopping with me, so I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him.” The boss returned from lunch in a good mood and called the whole staff in to listen to a couple of jokes he had picked up. Everybody, but one girl laughed uproari- ously. “What’s the matter?” he grumbled. “Haven’t you got a sense of humour?” “I don’t have to laugh,” she replied. “I’m leaving Friday.” Two neighbours were talking about work, when one asked, “Say, why did the foreman fire you?” Replied the second, “Well, you know how a foreman is always standing around and watching others do the work? My foreman got jealous. People started thinking I was the foreman.” Q: What is an insolvency practitioner? A: Someone who arrives after the battle and shoots all the wounded. A policeman pulls over a farmer on a country road. “Sir, do you realise your wife fell out of the car several miles back?” To which the farmer replied: “Thank God, I thought I had gone deaf!” Fred got home from his Sunday round of golf later than normal and very tired. “Bad day at the course?” his wife asked. “Everything was going fine,” he said. “Then Harry had a heart attack and died on the 10th tee.”“Oh, that’s awful!”“You’re not kid- ding. For the whole back nine it was hit the ball, drag Harry, hit the ball, drag Harry.” A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the supermarket but couldn’t find one big enough for her family. She asked a shop assistant, “Do these tur- keys get any bigger?” “No ma’am,” he replied, “they’re dead”. A policeman got out of his car to speak to the kid he had stopped for speeding, who rolled down his window. “I’ve been waiting all day for you,” said the policeman. The kid replied, “Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.” Quote of the month “Ability is of little account without opportunity.” Napoleon A truck driver is driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, ‘Low Bridge Ahead’. Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes along. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, “Got stuck, huh?” The truck driver says, “No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas.” An old lady walked into a pet store, found a parrot and asked the owner if she could buy it. The owner said, “Heck no! That parrot has a bad mouth! Trust me – you do not want that parrot!” She said, “I can teach it good manners.”  But, when she got home the parrot said a bad word, so she put it in the freezer for 10 seconds. She took it out and said, “Did you learn your lesson?” It said another bad word so she put it back in for 30 seconds. She took it out and asked if it learned its lesson yet.  The parrot said “Brr… Yes I learned my lesson, but, what did the chicken do? F U N N Y B U S I N E S S Are you here? We know the way through the maze GRAPHIC DESIGN LOGOS & BRANDING WEB DEVELOPMENT ADVERTISING PHOTO/VIDEOGRAPHY MARKETING & PR 02 4365 6777 CENTRAL COAST BUSINESS REVIEW DECEMBER 2020