CCBR Business Review

23 A lawyer was walking down the street when he saw two cars crashing into each other, rushing over he said, “I saw every- thing I can take either side!”  Faced with hard times, the company offered a bonus of $100.00 to any employee who could come up with a plan to save money. The bonus went to a young man in accounting who suggested limiting future bonuses to $10.00. I reversed into a car this morning. I knew it was going to be a really bad day. The driv- er of the other car was a dwarf. He got out of his car, looked up at me and said, “I am NOT happy!” So I said, “Well, which one ARE you then?”That’s how the fight started. A business owner tells her friend that she is desperately searching for an accountant. Her friend asks, “Didn’t your company hire an accountant a short while ago?”The busi- ness owner replies, “That’s the accountant I’ve been searching for This guy is walking with his friend, who happens to be a psychologist. He says to this friend, “I’m a walking economy.” The friend asks, “How so?” “My hair line is in recession, my stom- ach is a victim of inflation, and both of these together are putting me into a deep depression!” A driver was forced to take a day off from work to appear for a minor traffic summons. He grew increasingly restless as he waited hour after endless hour for his case to be heard. When his name was called late in the afternoon, he stood before the judge, only to hear that court would be adjourned for the rest of the afternoon and he would have to return the next day. “What for?!?!?” he snapped at the judge. His honor, equally irked by a tedious day and sharp query, roared out loud: “Twenty dollars contempt of court! That’s why!” Then, noticing the man checking his wal- let, the judge relented: “That’s all right. You don’t have to pay now.” The young man replied, “I know. But I’m just seeing if I have enough for two more words.” Martin had just received his brand new driver’s license. So the family gets in the car to go for a ride for the first time. Dad immediately heads for the back seat, directly behind the newly minted driver. “I’ll bet you’re back there to get a change of scenery after all those months of sitting in the front passenger seat teaching me how to drive,” says the beaming boy to his father. “Nope,” comes dad’s reply, “I’m gonna sit here and kick the back of your seat as you drive, just like you’ve been doing to me all these years.” A guy says, “Doctor, Doctor! Help me, I keep thinking I’m getting smaller!” The Doctor replies, “Well, you’ll just have to be a little patient.” A pipe burst in a doctor’s house. He called a plumber. The plumber arrived, unpacked his tools, did mysterious plumb- Quote of the month “To contract new debts is not the way to pay old ones.” GeorgeWashington 1799 er-type things for a while, and handed the doctor a bill for $800. The doctor exclaimed, “This is ridiculous! I don’t even make that much as a doctor!” The plumber waited for him to finish and quietly said, “Neither did I when I was a doctor.” Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a young apprentice were out checking meters in a suburban neighbourhood. They parked their truck at the end of the street and worked their way to the other end. At the last house, a woman looking out her kitchen window watched the two men as they checked her gas meter. Finishing the meter check, the senior supervisor challenged his assistant to a race down the street and back to the truck to prove that an older guy could outrun a younger one. As they came running up to the truck, they realized the lady from that last house was huffing and puffing right behind them. They stopped and asked her what was wrong. Gasping for breath, she replied, “When I see two gas men running as hard as you two were, I figured I’d better run too!” F U N N Y B U S I N E S S CREATIVE SOLUTIONS FOR ALL YOUR BUSINESS NEEDS suite 3.11 platinumbuilding 4 ilya ave, erina nsw 2260 phone 4365 6777 CENTRAL COAST BUSINESS REVIEW NOVEMBER 2020