The Little Blue Book

Laughter, humour, is the weapon that can carry us through adversity, strengthens resilience, helps us deal with stress and unwinds anger and disappointment. Nothing deflates anger as quickly as a laugh. ‘Crack up’, and all of our negative feelings, resentments and fears just fall away. There is no ‘failure of duty’ nor contradiction in finding humour in life’s hard knocks. Being able to laugh is an expression of courage, of bravery. And it will not only make you feel good but will lift the spirits of those around you. So, c’mon, life is filled with absurdity. Just look around, be open to humour, and you will always find something funny in something serious. Notice these things and let yourself laugh. Laugh at yourself, laugh with your family, laugh with your friends. The simple act of smiling, that movement of the muscles of the face, triggersasmallreleaseof‘feelgood’chemicalsinthebrain.Tryit,walk around theblockwith a quiet smile on your face. Smile, whistle, belly- laugh when you get the chance (and feel the stress just slide right off you). 5. Talk: talk about ‘you’, talk about ‘them’ Which part of a relationship is not helped by talking together? Whether at work or at home, your ability to communicate – to speak directly, to express feelings honestly, to empathise, to seek understanding and to listen compassionately – is at the heart of successful relationships The ability to express innermost feelings and thoughts, and in being receptive to the thoughts and feelings of others, is a measure of your emotional intelligence. For some, this comes naturally. Others of us will sometimes struggle with disclosure of our emotions and the vulnerability that we express with it. But if we are carrying angry feelings from one hour to the next, from one day to the next, we won’t resolve them without talking. So, give it a shot, start by asking ‘them’ how they are feeling (and be ready to take some ‘home truths‘ on board). It doesn’t matter if you stumble your way into it; persist, and it will come. Say: “Let’s talk about this…” and, with practice, you’ll learn to open up. If you need help, get relationship counselling where both of you can learn to talk, to communicate, to connect your feelings and emotions. Try setting aside some time in the day to ‘air’ things with the family – maybearound thekitchen table. (Do this, and, at the same time, you’ll be teaching your children to identify and manage their emotions.) We can be easily trapped by anger, and by all the negative thoughts and feelings that surround it. But ‘airing’ things, bringing them out into the open, releases them. Talk, listen. Practice openness, practice empathy, practice walking “in the other person’s shoes”, practice gratitude, and our angry thoughts and feelings will have nothing to cling to, and just slip away. 49 ADA Australia PostScript Section 1 Section 3 Section 2