him that he can have any woman that will allow him, then his reason is obscured and he has no argument to persuade the will. Unless something comes to distract his attention, the fall into mortal sin can be swift. Healing can only come through repentance and conversion to practicing the faith, for without it men do not have the grace to be chaste. This is not to downplay the role of a man in fostering virtue, practicing custody of the eyes and battling concupiscence. Indeed, it is imperative that he must do this also. Men cannot blame women for their sins of impurity, nor do they get a free pass when it comes to modesty! But, in the context of this letter, Amanda, I am focusing primarily on the role that a female can play for her own edification and that of her neighbour. Amanda, if man has a natural desire to uncover your intimacy, you want him to have to take a lot of time and effort to do so, because first you must be certain of his love, his honour, his virtue, his will to stand by you (and the child who may come of your union) no matter what. You first want him to get to know you, you as a person, your gifts and talents. Only at the very end of a long acquaintance, once you are certain of his virtue, will you allow him to enter into the intimacy of your body. That is the very last step that takes place after marriage, not before. You need to carefully preserve the secret intimacy of your being, and one day you will commit it to your husband in a lifelong, fecund bond. Unless the Lord calls you to the religious life or consecrated virginity, in which case that secret intimacy will be for no man but for Christ alone, who will make you spiritually fecund in a truly nuptial bond with Himself. Modesty as a Check for Curiosity and Custody of the Senses Amanda, I speak openly to you here as to a spiritual daughter. I do so as the father of your soul, for which I will have to give an account. Woman is the most beautiful part of God’s creation. When God created the universe, He saved the best for last, creating Eve after Adam. She is the most beautiful of all. God made her so beautiful, so that man would be drawn to her and that the human race would be propagated on the earth. It’s nothing to be afraid of, but it is something you must be aware of. Do keep in mind this: the beauty you have from God is amplified through the eyes of a man, and it is your modesty that helps keep his curiosity in check. Let’s recall a story. King David was not just a good man; he was a prophet, 42
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