Fig Leaves Are Not Enough Open Letters on Modesty in Dress by Dom Pius Mary Noonan OSB, STD ISBN: 978-1-923263-19-2 This edition prepared by Family Life International (Aust) Limited with kind permission of the original publisher Cana Press. 8 September 2024 - Feast of the Nativity of the Blessed Virgin Mary PO Box 205, Broadway, NSW, 2007 (02) 9519 9111 info@fli.org.au www.fli.org.au The text of this booklet may be reproduced for non-commercial purposes with credit to Cana Press. Booklet text © Cana Press.
CONTENTS Author’s Preface .................................................................................................... 4 Acknowledgment .................................................................................................. 7 First Correspondence The Veil.................................................................................................................... 8 Female Dignity and the Veil........................................................................... 10 The Pauline Precept........................................................................................ 13 Weddings ........................................................................................................ 16 The Fundamental Integration of Body and Soul . ........................................ 18 Second Correspondence Original Sin: The Spanner in the Works.............................................. 24 Original Sin.................................................................................................... 28 Concupiscence ............................................................................................... 30 Modesty the Guardian of Chastity ............................................................... 33 Modesty as Virtue and Fruit......................................................................... 36 Modesty and the Mutual Attraction of the Sexes ........................................ 38 Modesty as a Check for Curiosity and Custody of the Senses ..................... 42 Modesty in Words ......................................................................................... 45 Modesty in Behaviour ................................................................................... 47 The Sin of Immodesty ................................................................................... 48 Third Correspondence Modesty in the Context of Modern Culture ....................................... 52 Fashions in History ...................................................................................... 54 Fashions That Offend God ............................................................................ 55 An Out of Place Objection ............................................................................. 59 2
True Beauty ................................................................................................... 61 The Objective Norm of Modesty ................................................................... 62 The Vessel of Life ........................................................................................... 65 Heels, Cosmetics and Other Adornments .................................................... 67 Fourth Correspondence Modesty in Everyday Life ........................................................................... 69 Women and Trousers .................................................................................... 71 Differences in Visual Perception .................................................................. 73 Ideological Issues ........................................................................................... 75 Dignity and Decorum ................................................................................... 79 Exceptions ..................................................................................................... 80 Sportswear .................................................................................................... 82 Swimming Suits ............................................................................................ 83 A Modest Solution ......................................................................................... 88 Personal Modesty and Courtesy for Others ................................................ 89 Final Letter A Challenge to All Spiritual Daughters ................................................ 93 Practical Points on Modesty in Daily Dress .............................................. 98 Standards for Women .................................................................................. 98 Standards for Men ...................................................................................... 100 Practical Points on Modesty in Church for Men and Women ................... 101 Endnotes ............................................................................................................. 102 Artworks ................................................................................................................ 105 3
For many years now it has been on my mind to write a book on modesty in dress. In that time other books or articles have appeared here and there, giving hope that a true revival of Christian modesty is making its way through the various ranks of our society. There is a need for it, as the fashions in the west in the past one hundred years have gone from slightly provocative to outright immodest and now to utterly vulgar and ugly. Both modesty and beauty have, in large part, been lost, making for a world that is more and more unpleasant to live in. One of the things that kept me from writing this book was the thought that it would be best written by a woman. I have the greatest respect for those women who have in recent years courageously done fine work on this topic. However, it also appears to me that a book by a man has some advantages. Although there is a real risk of undergoing criticism for being judgmental, misogynist, obsessed, or any other list of unpleasant qualifiers, there is also a real advantage in having a male perspective on this question. After all, men are the ones who are primarily affected by the way women dress. My words in this book are not theory, but practice. I am also a priest, and as such receive the confidences of many men and women. I know the problem from the inside as well as from the outside. One of the things I have noticed, however, is that priests have been more and more reluctant to speak to this matter in public. The moral scandals of the clergy have obviously weighed heavily upon many good priests who are fearful of even bringing up the topic, lest they be seen PREFACE 4
as imbalanced, biased, or worse. The reality remains, however, that the priest is spiritual father of his faithful. He has duties to them. He must instruct them and, when necessary, admonish them. It is my hope that this little book will be an incentive to many of my brother priests to muster the courage to be outspoken on the question of Christian modesty. So much depends upon it. I am of the mind that it is one our highest priorities. Without it, the restoration of a Christian culture is simply not possible. The book is presented in the form of correspondence between myself and a spiritual daughter whom I call Amanda. She is a real person, though this is not her real name. Amanda (from the Latin verb amare – meaning “she who wants to be loved”) was chosen because every woman wants to be loved. Women are God’s masterpiece, the very image of the being He made to receive and welcome His love. Women are designed to be the heart of the family, and they are therefore made for love. It is precisely this desire for love which leads so many women astray, causing them to imagine they will attract men and find love if they reveal their bodies to them. Sadly, they never find love that way. All they find is a base, fleeting passion, that burns out like a match, and dies, often leaving in its wake a heart ravaged by fire. True love is born in the heart of man when he discovers the beauty that a woman hides deep down in the heart of her person created by God and destined to see Him. Paradoxically, that beauty can be found only if it is hidden in mystery. If it is concealed behind modest, dignified and beautiful apparel, it touches what is most noble in man and inspires him 5
to sacrifice all that he has, even his very life, to obtain it, honour it and defend it. These letters, though not actual historical letters, do reflect correspondence and conversations on these topics over the years, with Amanda but also with many other women and men. Her personal case inspired the particular approach these letters take – which may surprise some –, starting with good, pious women who, though dressing modestly at church and most of the time outside of church, will nevertheless be led every now and then to fail, and sometimes gravely, in modesty. There are many women in this case in our churches, even in traditional circles. Even where church garb is excellent, peer pressure outside leads them on occasion to follow the crowd, even to spiritual disaster. Amanda’s evolution and growth in the spiritual life has been amazing. Starting with the veil at Mass, she came to realise the much more vast implications of modesty at all times, and from there she has been led to a very deep and fruitful spiritual life lived for God alone. My hope is to ultimately reach the legions of women out there who simply are clueless about modesty, many of whom, often through no fault of their own, have fallen prey to the ideology of the cultural revolution and as a result have lost nearly all moral compass in matters of dress and comportment. I feel that Amanda’s itinerary can be an inspiration to many of our good women, both young and less young, and they in turn can then go out and convert their sisters, helping them discover God’s mercy along with their own true worth, dignity and beauty. 6
This book owes much to the constructive criticism of many women of various ages and walks of life who patiently read through one or more of the numerous drafts of my manuscript and made many useful comments. Even though their modesty prevents them from wanting their names to be made public, I would like to here thank them all from the bottom of my heart. May Mary Immaculate reward them all in abundance! As for any errors or inexactitudes that may still be found in the text, I alone bear the responsibility for them, and beg the reader’s forbearance as I treat a highly sensitive but crucial topic. That in All Things God May be Glorified Rule of St Benedict, ch. 57 ACKNOWLEDGMENT 7
Dear Father, It was lovely seeing you at the recent retreat after such a long time. I hope you do not mind me writing to you so soon after, but it was my first retreat and I have so many questions that have arisen since. I will however limit myself to one of them here. Father, I’m sorry if this question might be silly, but it’s about wearing a veil in church. As you may remember, where I grew up, most females wore a veil and it is something my sisters and mother have always done. However, when at university, in the church I attend with a lot of young people, many of the girls often speak about “discerning to veil”. There are some girls who think that wearing a veil is a sign of pride, and others who feel it comes from an old-fashioned notion having to do with a patriarchal society that oppresses females, and pretty much all of them think it is something that should be discerned. Their attitudes towards girls wearing dresses to church is similar, and some say it does not matter what one wears to church at all, as it is how we are on the inside that counts. It confuses me to the point where I think perhaps I should stop wearing a veil if others do not? However, this last week at the retreat, spending a lot of time with the Blessed Sacrament made me realise that I should wear a veil no matter which church I attend, for every church is the house of God, and surely it is for Him that we wear a veil and no other reason? But then, that of course made me First Correspondence The Veil 11 February 2023 Feast of Our Lady of Lourdes Come before Him: worship the Lord in the beauty of holiness. 1 Chronicles 16:29 8
wonder – does that mean everybody should? And why do women cover their heads, but men do not? As I said, I have no objection to wearing a veil, and actually I much prefer it as I find myself less distracted and less inclined to make eye contact when wearing a veil. While I agree with the objections of some of my classmates that it is the intention that counts, I find myself uneasy at their suggestion that it does not matter what one wears – I can’t help but notice that when I dress differently, when I do wear a veil, I find that my behaviour is also somewhat influenced. But perhaps this is just me? I hope you manage to understand what I am getting at and I do apologise if it is a bit jumbled. With sincerest gratitude through Christ, Amanda 9
Dear Amanda, Thank you for getting in touch. I am happy to know you had a fruitful retreat. It was nice to see both you and the other members of your family there. It seems just the other day that you and your sister were little toddlers when I used to visit your parents. Your questions are very pertinent ones. You have made some interesting observations, all of which demonstrate that you have a strong sensus fidei,1 and this is very important in the spiritual life. I offer the following reflections for your consideration. Female Dignity and the Veil The first point that occurs to me is that in our Catholic religion, all things holy are veiled. A veil is placed over the chalice, over the ciborium, over the tabernacle. The priest is veiled with sacred vestments when he is at the altar. The nun is veiled when consecrated to God. Veiling is a sign of respect for the dignity of God’s presence. A woman does not clothe her body because she is afraid or ashamed of it, but because of its great dignity. It is a mystery, it is precious; it is sacred; it is the temple of the Holy Spirit. Why are women so special, you might be asking yourself? Like the tabernacle which contains the Bread of Life, a woman is the tabernacle in which God creates new life. Because of this, we can say that the female body is, in a certain sense, more sacred than the male body, for the simple reason that it is capable of bringing to life a new human person created in the image and likeness of God, and destined to see God for all eternity. Reflecting on what he calls this “frightful privilege” of woman, G. K. Chesterton was moved to write, in his habitual provocative and paradoxical style, that considering this attentively, “no one… 25 March 2023 Feast of the Annunciation A woman does not acquire a man’s dignity by having her head uncovered, but rather loses her own. St John Chrysostom 10
can quite believe in the equality of the sexes”.2 In passing, I might add that anyone who considers attentively the preeminent role the Catholic Church acknowledges to the Blessed Virgin Mary who conceived in her womb and nursed with her own milk God Himself in the flesh, cannot possibly entertain for a single second the absurd claim that the Church is, or was at any time in its history, a misogynist patriarchy intent on oppressing women. A second reason for the veil is that if men represent Christ the Bridegroom, women represent His Bride, the Church. As a bride veils herself on the day of her nuptials, so the woman who veils herself in God’s holy temple acknowledges that she symbolises the Church, and thereby implicitly asks Christ to enter into her heart to make her spiritually fecund by means of His grace. At the same time and for the same reason, by wearing a veil, a woman proclaims that men and women are not interchangeable. She acknowledges the God-given complementarity of man and woman, created in the image of God. Thirdly, wearing the veil is a way of dressing up for God; it tells Him how honoured the woman feels to be able to enter His house to pray, and manifests her humility and submission before Him, thus drawing down His graces ‘and the veil shall separate for you the holy place from the most holy.’ Exodus 26:33 11
and blessings upon her and those she prays for. It contributes to her beauty and helps her and everyone else honour God in much the same way that we only offer to God precious and beautiful vestments, sacred vessels and architecture. All contributes to giving God the worship that is due to Him. A woman who would be invited to Buckingham Palace to meet the King or to the White House to meet the President would wear her absolute finest apparel. To this day, famous women, even non-Catholics, adhere to the dress code of wearing a veil to meet the Pope. How much more should this be the case when going to the House of God and approaching the sacred altar where God Himself is present? Fourthly, by wearing a veil in church a woman imitates Mary, who is always veiled in her apparitions. Our Lady is the true Ark of the Covenant in which God united Himself with human nature. By imitating the Mother of God, a woman is asking God to effectively fill her with His grace so that she can be an instrument of grace for others. A fifth reason is that veiling helps a woman to pray. Just as the priest, in the traditional Mass, comes to the altar with his head covered as a sign of recollectedness, so women are helped to pray with fewer distractions and greater recollectedness when they wear the veil. ‘But if any man seem to be contentious, we have no such custom, nor the Church of God’ 1 Corinthians 11:1-16 12
A sixth is that when women wear a veil in church, they also help men to pray, for the veil protects, safeguards and exalts the natural beauty of woman, inspiring men with awe and respect for her dignity, and barring their natural curiosity to see more of her. The Pauline Precept There is a seventh and preponderant motive for which the veil should be worn, and that is the formal precept of the apostle St Paul, from which followed a universal custom in the Church. Let’s read the somewhat long passage in which the apostle explains himself. It holds many valuable lessons for us: Be ye followers of me, as I also am of Christ. Now I praise you, brethren, that in all things you are mindful of me: and keep my ordinances as I have delivered them to you. But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God. Every man praying or prophesying with his head covered, disgraceth his head. But every woman praying or prophesying with her head not covered, disgraceth her head: for it is all one as if she were shaven. For if a woman be not covered, let her be shorn. But if it be a shame to a woman to be shorn or made bald, let her cover her head. The man indeed ought not to cover his head, because he is the image and glory of God; but the woman is the glory of the man. For the man is not of the woman, but the woman of the man. For the man was not created for the woman, but the woman for the man. Therefore ought the woman to have a power over her head, because of the angels. But yet neither is the man without the woman, nor the woman without the man, in the Lord. For as the woman is of the man, so also is the man by the woman: but all things of God. You yourselves judge: doth it become a woman, to pray unto God uncovered? Doth not even nature itself teach you, that a man indeed, if he nourish his hair, it is a shame unto him? But if a woman nourish her hair, it is a glory to her; for her hair is given to her for a covering. But if any man seem to be contentious, we have no such custom, nor the Church of God (1 Cor 11:1-16). The opening words of this passage make it clear that the apostle did not invent the practice of veiling, but was only handing on the custom received from those before him, and ultimately no doubt, from the Synagogue. The final words, however, make clear that this practice has never been without its contradictors. There may be plenty of reasons for not liking it, but the apostle is affirming that 13
being contentious of ancient customs is simply not the Christian way. A true Christian respects what has been handed down from antiquity, even if he/she does not fully understand it, agree with it, or for that matter, like it. St Paul clearly leaves no room for any kind of discernment. Furthermore, following upon the apostolic command, the local laws around Christendom prescribed the wearing of the veil in churches,3 and this was sanctioned universally in the 1917 Code of Canon Law. In the 1960’s in the wake of the Second Vatican Council when so many changes affected the Church, the custom was left aside in most places, even though there is not a single ecclesiastical decree that one can point to as dispensing from the obligation to wear the veil.4 Indeed, how could there be? The Church cannot contradict Holy Scripture and apostolic teaching that is presented in such a clear way. Times and customs may change, but God’s laws never change or become outdated. So, what we must say is that the custom was set aside and lost in most places, with, sadly, virtually no resistance from the clergy. I must, however, insist that the failure of the clergy to enforce the veil is certainly not sufficient for the obligation to no longer exist, given the clarity of the apostle’s witness. It only means that the clergy did not stand up for the defence of the tradition, perhaps out of a misguided concern for the role of the laity and a rash cave-in to feminism, for which they will have to answer to God. You will find those who say that St Paul’s prescription was just a cultural taboo that the Church accepted, but this fits neither the data of history nor the text of the epistle. Even though St Paul refers to attitudes that he says are grounded in nature (Doth not even nature itself teach you, that a man indeed, if he nourish his hair, it is a shame unto him? But if a woman nourish her hair, it is a glory to her; for her hair is given to her for a covering), he bases his teaching on tradition, that is to say, what was handed down, not by cultural custom, but by apostolic, and therefore, divine teaching. It has literally nothing to do with cultural usage; it is a religious gesture, and therefore one that abides as long as does the Church of Christ. This being so, if we want to come to a better understanding of what St Paul is saying, we have to look for theological reasons. The whole question really revolves around the Greek word exousia (in Latin, potestas) which literally means power or authority, which the apostle says the woman must have over her head, and 14
which is symbolised by the veil. Now, there are at least two ways of reading that text. It seems primarily to mean that the veil over her head symbolises that woman is under an authority, that of her husband. From this point of view, the veil stresses the God-given ordered hierarchy of marriage in which, as Pius XI said so eloquently in the encyclical Casti Connubii, the husband is the head of the family and the wife is the heart. No one will contest that the head is above the heart, but neither will they admit that the head is more important than the heart. Both are essential; both have their irreplaceable and non-interchangeable roles. So, if we interpret it this way, what St Paul is saying is that, by wearing a veil in church, the woman is professing openly her belief that all things are ordered by God according to His wisdom, and if her husband has the primacy of authority in the household, she, and she alone, has the primacy of love; she is the living heart of the family. We may also add to this another consideration found in St Paul’s epistle to the Ephesians,5 where he compares the husband to Christ and the wife to the Church. Just as the Church is under the authority of Christ, but is part of His Body and has been given a share in His divinity, so the wife is under her husband, being an essential part of his body, and on equal footing of dignity with him, even though her role is distinct from his. So, we have here a very beautiful profession of faith in the order of the universe, without which nothing can function properly. That mention of order and authority leads to other possible considerations on the “power” over the woman’s head. Here it can be likened to the crown on the head of a queen. The crown symbolises that the queen has a very special and unique power or authority. So the woman, by wearing the veil, professes that she has, and she is conscious of the fact that she has, very real authority in the household. There, she is truly a queen to be respected and honoured. This interpretation seems to be confirmed by the addition of the words: “because of the angels”. Even though some commentators say that St Paul is here referring to the clergy who are present in church presiding over the ceremonies – and according to this, it would mean that the woman must cover her head in order to avoid giving distractions to the priests, for yes, the priest, like any man, can be distracted when he sees a beautiful woman –, it is also possible to see here an allusion to the order of the universe of which the angels are an essential part. The angels were created in the nine hierarchical choirs, and because of that, they 15
are supremely devoted to maintaining rank, for rank is of God and it allows every creature to prosper in its place. So, when St Paul says the woman should veil herself because of the angels, he is essentially saying that by veiling herself she is giving everyone a visible witness to the hierarchical structure and order of the universe in which all things flow from God and are ordered back to Him. This brings up another very important point, Amanda, which I invite you to consider very carefully. If we do understand by “angels” the priest and other sacred ministers, by wearing the veil at Mass you are being a very great help and edification to them. There is one obvious reason, already mentioned, in that the feminine beauty of either your hair or face will not be a distraction for them if you are veiled. But there is another, much deeper reason. By wearing the veil, you manifest authority: yours, that of your husband (if and when you have one), and thereby that of all God’s children. So when the priest sees a veiled woman at Mass, he sees a soul respectful of the God-given order of things. And since the priest too is one of the faithful, he actually sees in her an image of himself, in submission to God, and that reminds him of the devotion and obedience he must have to the Creator of all things. When a priest sees the veil, in other words, he sees the Church in submission to Christ, and he is reminded that he too is part of that Church, and therefore that he too owes submission to Christ, in particular by accepting the revealed dogma and Tradition and all that goes with it, instead of trying to remake the Church in his own image, as we see, sadly, many clergy doing today. Finally, when a priest gives Holy Communion to a modestly clothed woman wearing the veil, he beholds an image of the soul that humbles herself before God, and God, acknowledging her humility, deigns to fill her with His divinity. We could apply here the marvellous words of St Elizabeth of the Trinity: “It is in the very depths that the divine impact takes place, where the abyss of our nothingness encounters the Abyss of mercy, the immensity of the all of God”.6 There is so much to learn from the veil, and so much is lost when the veil is lost! Weddings On this topic of female attire in churches, Amanda, I would like to say a word on weddings. Weddings are no exception to the rule of modesty. If you are ever part of a bridal party (or when you yourself get married), a bride and her 16
Weddings are no exception to the rule of modesty. bridesmaids have the grave obligation to wear very modest dresses. It seems to still be the custom in most places for the bride to wear a veil, but sadly the gowns are, more often than not, dreadfully immodest, strapless, with exposed shoulders, plunging necklines, backless, or even of transparent fabric. Now I understand, that these brides and their attendants are simply wanting to look beautiful and special and likely to have no ill intention, but this is no justification for being gravely immodest and attracting undue attention to their bodies. A bride and her attendants must not stand at the altar attired in such a way, for by doing so, they not only jeopardise the blessing of God that they are asking through the Church on such an important day, they are actually an occasion of sin – that is to say a scandal, which means a stumbling block that may cause others to fall – to all the men present in the church, including the priest. They can also be a scandal for the children, especially the young girls who are present, who, when they become adults, will always be inclined to imitate later what they see on such occasions. Due to the sacredness of the place, it is hard not to qualify such wantonness as sacrilegious.7 By the way, do you know why a 17
bride wears a veil to her wedding? The veil, which traditionally covers the face as well as the hair and shoulders, and is lifted by the Bridegroom, was so that no one but he could see her beauty. By means of the veil, she says effectively to her husband: I am for your eyes only. So what sense can it possibly make for a bride to wear a veil and at the same time exhibit before all the men present her shoulders, back and even part of her breasts? We are in the realm of the sacrilegiously absurd. Given all this, it should be clear that weddings are no exception to the rule of modesty, neither for the bride, nor for any of the women involved in the wedding, all the more since they are so visible to the congregation. Here again, the clergy have a grave responsibility before God.8 The moral authority given to a priest by the Church is precisely for the admonishing and guardianship of souls so that they may be led to Christ. Therefore, it is the priest’s duty (and only his) to charitably enlighten and gently admonish those men and women who are dressed in attire not fitting for the due worship of God. These souls are under his care, and if he fails in this regard, he will have to answer to God.9 The Fundamental Integration of Body and Soul Amanda, the modesty of your apparel, whether at church or in your daily life, should be consistent. It should not change in any context, for the simple reason that it is intimately dependent upon an unchanging reality: the fundamental connection between body and soul, the interaction between internals and externals. You alluded quite correctly in your letter to the fact that you act differently when dressed differently. This is not your imagination playing tricks on you; there is a reason for it. 18
The definition of a human being is the intricate union of body (the material part) and soul (the immaterial, spiritual, immortal part). The body we have in common with animals, but the immortal soul that is able to choose between good and evil is exclusive to human beings. Soul and body, though distinct, are not separate; they are both essential parts of our human nature, that are fundamentally integrated in order to function as a living human being. While the soul gives life and motion to the body, the body in turn is required, in this life, for the proper functioning of the soul. Another way of putting it is that the soul animates the body and the body influences the soul. A crucial consequence of this is that, if the soul wants to grow in virtue, which is essentially a habit of goodness which produces good fruit, the soul cannot be content with just thinking about or even desiring virtue or goodness; thoughts and desires must be followed up by actions which can only be carried out by the body. So when you perform actions with your body that are ordered towards the good, your soul grows in the accompanying virtues. The virtues adorn your soul like precious jewels adorn a crown and, on a practical level, help you excel in still other virtues. Likewise, bad actions create bad habits called vices which disfigure the original plan God had for your soul. These are not just pious allegories. Growth in virtue is a reality that is imprinted on the soul. If you wish to grow and become strong in virtues such as modesty, prudence, chastity, etc. and find it easier to practice virtue, you have at your finger tips the means of doing so, namely, performing the acts of those virtues. Therefore, the way we act with our body has a direct effect on our soul, and vice versa. Sadly, modern idealism has led many to imagine that all that matters is what they think with their minds, and so it doesn’t make any difference what they do with their bodies. This is false; it is a devastating error that has left so much spiritual ruin in the landscape of our modern world. What we do with our bodies shapes our very soul and makes it either good or bad, virtuous or vicious. For example, when we kneel, bow or make the sign of the cross, these external signs and gestures, when fostered in a proper way, prepare internal changes that form internal dispositions in our soul. When a person tells lies or cheats or performs acts of impurity, they become a liar, a cheater, impure. The more one completes good or bad actions, the easier the good or bad actions become to perform: in this way a person becomes good or becomes evil. The same goes 19
Have you ever noticed how it is that priests and nuns, who wear cassocks or habits, command a certain dignity and impose respect in those who see them? Sisters of St. Thomas Aquinas 20
for every virtue including that of modesty, where the accompanying action is essentially the way we choose to dress. At the end of the day, if you dress modestly, you become modest and chaste. If you dress immodestly, you become immodest and unchaste. Have you ever noticed how it is that priests and nuns, who wear cassocks or habits, command a certain dignity and impose respect in those who see them? They have given their lives to God, and their habit reveals that to anyone who sees them. They “speak” of God just by the way they dress. In turn, this apparel inclines them to act in a certain way and to avoid certain activities and places, simply because their dress imposes upon them the dignity of their position. If they “kick the habit” and begin to dress like the laity, behaviours often change, because they no longer have that constant reminder of their being consecrated to God. In the same way, it is no secret that women are inclined to act differently depending on the way they dress. If they wear jeans, t-shirt and sneakers, they tend to conduct themselves in a commonplace, undignified manner. When they have a beautiful dress on, they are more likely to bear themselves in a graceful, demure manner. The reason for this is that the nature of the clothing forces the person to move differently according to how the item is made. The effect of feminine apparel, however, will not just extend to how you move around; it will slowly extend to much of your external interactions as well as internal attitudes. Many women have been surprised when experiencing this change within themselves that follows upon dressing with dignity. One of the strikingly sad things that one notices when studying the evolution of fashions over the past century is that in the early years after World War I, and then especially after World War II, the fashions remained feminine but became increasingly immodest: the hems got higher and higher and the necklines tended to lower, shoulders were uncovered, the form of the body was more and more pronounced, etc. But gradually, from the 1960’s, women tended to dress more and more like men do, thus losing the prerogative of beauty, until today when we see the fashions actually making them more and more ugly with, for example, wornout jeans with holes in the knees (or even the thighs…), tattoos that disfigure their arms and legs, nose-rings, lip-rings, tongue-rings…. Knowing what you do now, Amanda, about the interaction between body 21
and soul, I do hope you begin to seriously consider how a change in external dress inevitably leads to a change in mentality… If a woman begins to dress like a man, she will, even if she does not intend to, slowly start to adopt masculine mannerisms and habits. At the very least, the polarity of gender is reduced, and the world loses the beautiful complementarity of the sexes. The revolution inaugurated by immodesty in dress will not stop until its ultimate consequences are before us. The push for moral licentiousness through immodesty in dress was already gaining momentum in the 18th century and had as its ultimate goal to make public nudity acceptable. This was clearly demonstrated when at the height of the French revolution, on December 10, 1793, an angry mob rushed into the Cathedral of Notre Dame in Paris, seized the statue of the Virgin Most Pure, and sacrilegiously dashed it to the floor. Thereupon, as a symbol of the nudist program of licentiousness and feminine emancipation, they enthroned in Mary’s place on the altar a nude woman, the “goddess of reason.” The nudist banner of rebellion against the Church’s teaching on modesty was raised high on this occasion, inviting Catholic women to enlist under it. Two centuries later we see it all playing out before us. This makes it clear that by the undue exhibition of flesh, a woman is, whatever her intentions might be, playing the goddess. And that is sacrilegious. The reality is that feminine beauty is one of God’s gifts to the world, and women have the prerogative and the duty to make it shine brighter. But in order for that beauty to edify men and not be a stumbling block to them, it must be veiled by modest clothing. Such is the teaching of nature, such is the teaching of the Church handed down by Tradition. I hope the above have clarified your questions. Perhaps you might try to put it into practice to see for yourself how the way you dress influences not only the way you move around, but also the way others interact with you. Try to wear only dresses for a month and always wear a veil to church. See if you feel and behave differently. Mind you, the dress does not need to be ostentatious – indeed, it should not! –, but feminine and dignified, with simplicity and modesty; beautiful, but not distracting others by any undue revealing of your beauty. I repeat, Amanda: look feminine and beautiful, not cheap and vulgar! The world so needs it. Please keep me in your prayers, and rest assured of mine for you. Your Father in Christ 22
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Dear Father, Thank you so much for taking the time to write such a detailed reply. Your letter made perfect sense and gave me so much food for thought. One thing that really hit home was the connection between the soul and the body and how they are so interconnected and one affects the other. It is something I have never thought about or even considered. So, I did put into practice some of the suggestions you made in your last letter. I have always dressed up for church, because I thought it was the right thing to do. However, I always thought it was OK to dress differently (like everybody else!) in my everyday life. Since getting back from retreat I have been trying to keep up with a bit of a regular prayer life and have been trying to visit the Blessed Sacrament during the week while I am at university and also say the Rosary daily. I noticed that because I was wearing a dress and a veil for these visits, it often meant that most of my week, even when attending classes, I was in more feminine attire. I was surprised that I did feel very different to how I was normally dressed and noticed that even small mannerisms or actions changed (one must move differently while wearing a dress and a skirt than in trousers or shorts!). Father, the month did go well. However, I feel very ashamed about 1 May 2023 Month of Mary The Lord God made for Adam and his wife, garments of skins, and clothed them. Genesis 3:21 Second Correspondence Original Sin: The Spanner in the Works 24
something that happened towards its end. No doubt it is bothering me so much because what I experienced on this particular occasion is so contrasted with what I described above. I was hesitant in asking you this question, but it is really weighing on my mind and I hope you might be able to enlighten me on what happened that night, as I am still very confused about both my actions as well as the guilt I felt afterwards. Last week, I attended the 21st birthday party of a close friend. A few weeks ago, some university friends had bought me a dress which I probably would not have usually worn, but I thought because it was a gift from friends, and they were all going to be there, I would wear it to this party. It was a bright yellow strapless, minilength dress. I’m sorry to go into so much detail Father, but it is mainly because I want to be completely honest in the description so you can then answer the specific question I have. When I looked at myself in the mirror before leaving home, I thought to myself that I looked so different, and for a fleeting moment, I felt that perhaps I should change as I wasn’t quite comfortable. However, a I told myself: when in Rome do as the Romans do, right? I’d also seen other girls from church dressed in similar dresses before, so thought it would be fine. 25
friend that was with me told me the dress really suited me and so I decided it was OK, because surely everyone would be dressed similarly. I told myself: when in Rome do as the Romans do, right? I’d also seen other girls from church dressed in similar dresses before, so thought it would be fine. Well, to be completely honest, Father, I felt extremely uncomfortable. Like I was on show for everyone to look at – and they did, especially the males! I received a lot of very forward compliments and attention. However, the way the men were looking at me made me feel very uncomfortable, as it was a bit too intimate for my liking. I’m ashamed to say that rather than questioning this doubt, I instead had a couple of drinks of alcohol as I thought perhaps it was just my nerves that needed to calm down, but this only made it worse! I felt awful. I wasn’t sure why, as everyone else around me seemed to be so comfortable wearing the same clothes and having a good time, but I was quite miserable and wanted to go home. Father, I remember you telling me once a few years ago to dress always in a way that would find favour with the Mother of God. I fear I let her down terribly that night. When I came home, I remembered a few of the examination of conscience questions for the General Confession on retreat and realised perhaps I had committed a sin and that is why I felt so bad. I thought the male attention would have been something I would like, but I did not feel comfortable with that sort of attention at all. Did I commit a mortal sin, Father? I think I will go to confession as it might be some time before I hear from you, just in case. I think I will also maybe reduce the time I am spending at church during the week, as I do not feel it is right to go after how I acted this last week. I hate to trouble you with this, dear Father, for I know you have so much to do, but I am very grateful for allowing me to clarify my doubts with you. With gratitude for your time, through Christ, Amanda 26
Dear Amanda, I am very glad that what I wrote was helpful to you. And I am also very pleased to see that you did put my suggestions into practice and noticed the difference. Before I come to answer your specific questions, let me expand a bit on some of the things that were only implicit in my last letter to you. They will help us understand what went wrong on that night you mention. Did you ever wonder why it is that we wear clothes to begin with? To protect our bodies from cold and wind and sun, right? Yes, but we also wear them when the weather is perfect and we do not need to protect ourselves from it. Why do you think that is? It is because there is another important reason, which is actually the first reason: clothing safeguards modesty. Modesty (from the Latin word modus which means due order based on who we are) is a virtue that dictates a certain way of dress and deportment which implements propriety by maintaining a due order in all things. Modesty is meant to safeguard this pearl of great price which is purity, that is to say, the virtue of chastity. Clothing therefore protects and helps us maintain modesty, which in turn protects chastity and thereby allows behaviour to be in conformity with the true dignity of a human being made in the image and likeness of God. But, of course, there are various kinds of clothing that cover more or less of the body. How does one know how much to cover? Why don’t we just cover the bare minimum, those parts that distinguish us as male and female, and which every human instinctively hides from others? Remember how we spoke of the unity of body and soul? Well, this essential concept underpins all the guidelines of Christian modesty. If you come to grasp the fundamental reason for human frailty, you will then more clearly understand what happened at that party you attended and why you felt so bad. In a nutshell it 24 May 2023 Mary Help of Christians What is it all for? If they only knew what eternity is. St Jacinta Marto of Fatima, age 9, on seeing immodest and fashionably dressed women 27
can be traced back to Original Sin, the sin of our first parents Adam and Eve, and how that sin has left a permanent wound in our human nature. Original Sin To understand Original Sin, we must go back to the beginning. When Adam and Eve were created, they were in the state of grace. They had intimate friendship with God. God loved them and delighted to spend time with them. They were His masterpiece, and all of creation was there to serve them. They had perfect bodies free of disease or decay, crystal clear intellects, and passions that were completely subordinate to reason. They had no need of clothing, for the climate in the garden of Paradise included the perfect temperature, nothing to fear from sun, wind or rain, and no objectifying gazing from others. In addition to all these natural gifts, Adam and Eve also had what are called preternatural gifts. These are gifts that were not due to our nature as such, but were added to it by God who is so generous. These preternatural gifts, which were destined to be passed on to all future generations of the human race if our first parents had not sinned, were the following: immortality (they were not to die), infused knowledge (knowledge of all natural sciences to a degree that would make the geniuses of history look like little schoolboys); and immunity from concupiscence. This immunity means that their reason had such a command over the natural inclinations of the flesh that their appetites were completely ordered and they would always act according to reason. This immunity from concupiscence is almost impossible for us to imagine now, as we are all wounded by Original Sin. Many people cannot imagine eating food solely to be nourished (as opposed to eating because we are craving a favourite particular food). However, for Adam and Eve, before Original Sin, this was a reality. Instead of appetite leading reason, it was reason that would lead the appetite in order to achieve the desired end of nutrition (food) or procreation (intercourse). You know the story of the Fall, how Satan, under the guise the serpent, tempted Eve, who then tempted Adam. They both disobeyed God’s clear command. That is the first, or Original Sin of humanity. Because of this sin, this turning away from God and towards the creature, Adam and Eve not only lost the initial state of innocence, holiness and bliss in which they were created, but nature, which was meant to serve them, turned against them, because they had first turned against God and distorted creation. Since then, the human intellect 28
has been darkened. The will, which was designed to love and serve God and help neighbour, has been weakened and easily turns against God and against fellow humans. Furthermore, Adam and Eve lost entirely the preternatural gifts: now they had to learn everything (having lost infused knowledge), they had to die (having lost immortality) and they had to deal with disordered desires (loss of immunity from concupiscence). This fundamental refusal of God has since perpetuated down through the centuries in all forms of sin. Sometimes people think Adam and Eve were just like us; poor Eve ate the apple because she was hungry, and God was just cruel to throw them out of paradise for that. Perhaps you yourself have sometimes thought this. It is very important to understand that the punishment which followed upon Original Sin was not cruel, nor was it unfair, but perfectly just. You see, Adam and Eve, with their superior intellects and infused knowledge, knowingly committed that sin and knew the consequences. They knew that God sustained their life and every action, and that without God, they could not even exist. They knew that to disobey God and eat the fruit would be a mortal sin, that is, give death to the soul and separate them from God. And yet, with full knowledge of this, they chose to slap God in the face. They knew that, by this act, they were turning the order of creation upside down, ‘ And the Lord God sent him out of the paradise of pleasure, to till the earth from which he was taken.’ Genesis 3:23 29
that they were deliberately turning away from God. Adam, as head of the human race, had a particular guilt in this sin. By consenting to put Eve’s suggestion above God’s formal command, he knowingly wounded the human nature of which he was the head and the source, and he was fully aware that the wound would pass to each and every human being. This is essentially what Original Sin was: a revolt against God by Adam and Eve, with full knowledge of all its consequences. Since then, all human beings are conceived and born in a state of sin. The human nature Adam and Eve passed on to all their descendants carries with it that grave wound of soul and body. It is very much like how an alcoholic parent will pass on a profound susceptibility to alcoholism to their child at a level that is at once biological, physiological and psychological, and since body and soul are united in the one human nature, this often predisposes the child to be prone to inclinations that may give rise to certain vices (such as intemperance) which can then affect them on a spiritual level. The child of alcoholic parents will not automatically become an alcoholic; his/her free will remains, but the tendency will be there and it will require much effort and struggle to not succumb and remain temperate. This predisposition of the child is ultimately the consequence of Original Sin, which affects both body and soul, and it is the state into which we are all conceived and born. Fortunately, God, through His infinite mercy, provides a remedy that has raised man spiritually, even higher than Adam and Eve. It was given in the person of Jesus Christ Our Lord. Through baptism in the Name of the Holy Trinity, Original Sin is remitted and we become true children of God. Although the consequences of Original Sin–ignorance, concupiscence and death– will always remain, they can be surmounted. Constant fidelity to grace, especially the grace received through the Sacraments of Confession and Holy Communion, will fortify us, both body and soul, to conquer temptations and win the eternal crown in Heaven. Concupiscence Let us now consider what happened after the first sin, for the history gives us the answer to so many questions that many people find themselves asking: If God created us with no clothes, why should we cover up? If God is omnipotent and omniscient, why would He create us to be sexually attracted and not expect us to act on that impulse and use that pleasure on demand? Why are we so easily 30
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