So my advice to you, my daughter, is to be modest and chaste in your words. Do not refer to anything that concerns your intimacy in any way, except of course when you need to share something with your mother, your doctor, or with the priest in the confessional. Friends might deride you for not taking part in lewd conversations, but don’t pay any attention to them. Guard your interior castle, that is to say your Christian soul, and its temple, that is your body, with great care, and you will find much peace. Modesty in Behaviour Amanda, I understand and have also heard from numerous women that they simply have no understanding of how their dress and behaviours affect men. There are certain positions and actions that are tolerable in a man, but which a lady must avoid in public. For example, while it is perfectly permissible when on your own or with your sister to lie down on the floor, you should not do this when there are others, especially men, around. Nor does a lady stretch her arms or spread out her legs in the presence of a man. Wearing a modest dress almost automatically and of its own, will give you the instinct to avoid these things, but when you are wearing trousers or even shorts, it is not so. In the same way you should not adjust your undergarments in the presence of others or touch the intimate parts of your body. These are things that everyone used to learn, but here and there one now notices a lack of education in these matters, even in adults. Nor is it appropriate for women in churches or any public place to bow themselves down to the ground in adoration, for anyone coming from behind would have their backside in full view! In former times, custom and education were enough for them to know this instinctively, but now they need to listen to the men who have the courage and the charity to tell them. By her modesty a woman can use her charm to tame the passions of man; by her immodesty her beauty becomes a stumbling block to man. Like it or not, this makes women the guardians of chastity in the world. This is why God has given woman a much more delicate sense of modesty than man, not only to protect her own integrity, but also to protect man against the fury of his own passions. When woman is modest, man has only himself to blame if he succumbs to temptations of the flesh. But when woman decides to display parts of her body which should be covered, she is no longer a helper, but can easily become – in spite of her intentions – a seductress, sharing in the guilt of man. 47
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