Bereavement Information 37 South Eastern Sydney Local Health District Supporting Children Talking to children about death and dying Talking to children about death can be difficult, particularly when we are also grieving. It is also common to want to protect children from death out of concern that they will not understand or will become overly distressed. However, in general, children are resilient and have strengths to cope with death when supported by a primary caregiver. ChildrenandYoungPeoplemaybecomemore anxious, confused or fearful if we exclude them from important conversations or attempt to hide our own grief. When we are able to talk openly and honestly with children about death and dying, we can support with their understanding of these big concepts, assist them to feel safe and secure, normalise sharing emotions and feelings with trusted caregivers and supports and allow them to ask questions. Conversations may also help to prepare children for significant events, such as viewings and funerals. When to talk with children about death Once you know a loved one has died or is dying, take time to explain this to your child as soon as you feel you are able. You may wish to elicit the support of another person when having these discussions. If you have more than one child in your family, you might wish to talk together as a group or tell each child what has happened individually. It is helpful to consider the age and characteristics of your children when deciding how to talk to them about the death. What to say when talking about death Children sometimes need help to understand what death and dying means. We can assist with their understanding by explaining what has happened as truthfully and as simply as possible. For example, ‘I have some sad news to tell you. Grandpa died this morning’. It is important to use words such as ‘death’ and ‘died’ to assist with the child’s understanding. Ambiguous explanations, such as “grandpa went to sleep”, or ‘passed away” may be confusing or may cause your child to become fearful and anxious.
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