someone else’s blood and flesh inside of him. He looks to the toilet bowl, and decides toFuck. This poor fucking werewolf. I’m tearing up and I’m about to cry in the middle of the test. I’m still on the same fucking question. Get a hold of yourself. What if one day he goes to school and finds out one of his friends is missing? Fuck. When the test is over Amelie and Vishal come up to me and I try to put on a brave face. Vishal: How’d it go? Amelie: yeah what did you do for that one aboutPanic rises in my stomach. I don’t like where I am right now and so I start walking off. Amelie: jia? where you headed? For some reason I expected them not to follow me. Amelie: you okay? I turn around and when I see her face my knees buckle below me and I am on the floor. Fuck. Fuck. Get a hold of yourself. Not here. Not now. Me: im so so sorry. Amelie: jia? whats... She gets down on the floor with me. Me: im so so sorry amy. im making a scene. im a horrible friend. im a horrible person. im horrible. Amelie: hey, hey, its okay. its just an mst Me: its not that! its- its i barely got into this course and im failing it and what even is the point? what do i have besides this fucking course. everything else about me is horrible. im fucking pathetic and im a monster and fuck. why am i saying this. why am i saying this. I stop talking at this point and just sob quietly. Vishal looks around and I can tell he’s anxious and I feel so so bad. What right do I have to break down? I’m just this fat, pathetic animal writhing on the ground. People are looking. Vishal and Amelie whisper something to each other. I think he has to go off for class. Amelie stays though. She brings me to the corner and sits with me. She gives me a tight hug. I don’t deserve this. She says it’s okay. She says she’s my friend and it’ll be okay. I think about Marco. I want to give him a happy ending. Maybe he goes to school that day and one of his friends notices he looks unwell. He asks what’s wrong and Marco tries to keep his cool, says everything is fine. The friend looks disturbed. He asks if Marco wants a hug. 19
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