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Keeping it
real
...
with Anna Nimmity
Jokes of the month...
A blonde and a redhead have a ranch.
They have just lost their bull. The women
need to buy another, but only have $500.
The redhead tells the blonde, “I will go to the
market and see if I can find one for under that
amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram.”
She goes to the market and finds one for $499.
Having only one dollar left, she goes to the
telegraph office and finds out that it costs one
dollar per word.
She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to
bring the truck and trailer.
Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to send
the word “comfortable.” Skeptical, the operator
asks, “How will she know to come with the
trailer from just that word?”
The redhead replies, “She’s a blonde!... so she
reads slow: ‘Come for ta bull’.”
Late one night a burglar broke into a house
and while he was sneaking around he heard a
voice say, “Jesus is watching you.”
He looked around and saw nothing.
He kept on creeping and again heard,
“Jesus is watching you.”
In a dark corner, he saw a cage with a parrot
inside...
The burglar asked the parrot, “Was it you who
said Jesus is watching me?”
The parrot replied, “Yes.” Relieved, the burglar
asked, “What is your name?”. The parrot said,
“Clarence”, the burglar said, “That’s a stupid
name for a parrot. What idiot named you
Clarence?”
The parrot answered, “The same idiot that
named the rottweiler Jesus.”
Peace out!
Love Anna xo
H
O
T...
A working heater in winter. Hallelujah!
Dog costumes... We all love them, let’s not
pretend we don’t.
People posting photos of their pets more
than their kids on facebook. Yay for fur babies!
Men that can change a tyre... There’s nothing
better than a man that can use his hands ;)
Trashy TV... As if we are not all addicted!
N
O
T...
Double dipping. It’s actually never ok. Ever!
Home brand toilet paper... I would rather use
printer paper, it’s cheaper although harder to flush.
Mixing drinks when out at the pub. Note to
self: It never ends well!
Mixing drinks with salad... Carbs are your
only friend!
'Happn' - the new dating application. It’s
a) totally creepy and b) totally creepy.
Bullying on facebook. Grow up!
Fishnet stockings.
Flat caps!... Oh, and Southern Cross tat-
toos... You know where you are geographically
located....Star navigation was so last season.
Interesting facts...
When hippos are upset, their sweat
turns red.
A flock of crows is known as a murder.
The average woman uses her height in
lipstick every 5 years.
If you are bored...
A
ward passersby marks out of ten as you
go along, offering expert criticism on their
clothing, hairstyle and footwear choices.
Quote of the month
“Great minds discuss ideas; average
minds discuss events; small minds
discuss people”. ~ Eleanor Roosevelt
Absolutely Fabulous!
Eddy:
“Why does everything you wear
look like it’s bearing a grudge? You’ve got
a wardrobe full of little murderers!”
Eddy:
“Quick shower, quick shower…
Wash and go. Sandpaper, exfoliant,
cellulite breakdown, tone and perm, a
uto-bronzer and birch twigs! Shall I have
soap? No, no soap.”
Pet costumes of the month!
This month only...
$150 PET PORTRAITS!
Feature
12 | iNarrabri Magazine |
September 2016
Pet c
of the month!
Jokes of the month...
blonde and a redhead have a ranch and have
just lost their bull. T women n ed to buy
another, but o ly have $500.
to send a
message it c sts one dollar per word.